Sunday, September 14, 2014

[klygdduo] Two interpretations of safe

There are surprisingly not one but two major ways people, stereotypically women, can feel unsafe at a social dance.  The more famous one is feeling threatened through stalking, physical or sexual harassment.  As shorthand, let's name this one safety from sexual harassment.

The second is feeling threatened about being judged, facing social punishment or social repercussions for dancing or for dancing in a certain way.  Let's name this one safety from slut-shaming.

Inspired by a conversation with a woman about the topic of "safety" at a dance.  She immediately interpreted it to mean safety from slut-shaming.  Surprised, when I responded that safety from sexual harassment is the more famous issue, she responded that that one has only very rarely been a concern for her, that people's behavior at a dance became uncomfortable so rarely that it was, on the whole, not a big deal for her.  She said it may have to do with her expectations of a social dance.

What kinds of actions do perpetrators do that cause others not to feel safe from slut-shaming?  Can we prevent such behavior?  This will probably be difficult because likely the perpetrators feel they are doing nothing wrong (coincidentally, an attitude shared by those who cause others to feel unsafe from sexual harassment).

The two issues might be linked at a subconscious level: people may set their boundaries about what constitutes sexual harassment based on a desire to avoid slut shaming.  Solving one helps solve the other.

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