Wednesday, September 15, 2021

[oetbpnrs] evacuating Rhode Island on foot

consider evacuating the world population from Rhode Island in the worst way possible: how many horror story tropes can we invoke?

bureaucrats of Rhode Island craft an exit plan not to minimize deaths, but just to minimize the deaths in Rhode Island.

inspiration: if a passenger dies (e.g., heart attack) on a plane flight, airline flight crews will try very hard for the passenger to be first moved off the plane to the jetway then pronounced dead, because that improves safety statistics for the airline.  perhaps flight crews try this even when the passenger is not quite dead: it's more important to get them off the plane than allow medical treatment to be performed while on board the plane.

if the goal is to get people beyond Rhode Island borders before death by (probably) dehydration or starvation, how effective would it be just to force everyone to walk?  outrageously optimistically, assume that densely packed people can move en masse in an orderly way like parading soldiers or a marching band.

it's Stephen King's The Long Walk but with the entire human population.

the bureaucrats of Rhode Island thoughtfully prepare and unleash birds (during the day) and insects (at night) to eat dead bodies so they do not impede progress.

it turns out the man-eating birds and creepy crawlers are unnecessary, because the dead are quickly cannibalized by people who have no other sources of food.  not just the dead.

people near the coast are packed onto waiting cargo ships, but the ships are not stocked with supplies.  they have only enough fuel to reach international waters.  what happens next on the ships left adrift is, in the words of Rhode Island bureaucrats, "not my problem".

the bureaucrats of neighboring Massachusetts and Connecticut, not wanting bad death statistics in their states, have built a wall.

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