[aafxjylm] lies of the Alameda-Weehawken burrito tunnel

the science fiction of the burrito tunnel contains the one big lie of the tunnel existing, and several smaller lies which are satirically funny in their own right.

at one end, burritos are prepared in Palo Alto and transported via BART tunnels to the burrito tunnel entrance at Alameda.  in real life, BART does not serve Palo Alto, and this issue is particularly a sore spot among Bay Area residents.  (just replace Caltrain already.)

at the other end, trucks deliver in a timely fashion the burritos from the burrito tunnel exit at Weehawken, NJ through the Holland Tunnel under the Hudson River to New York City.  in real life, New York traffic is bad, and Holland Tunnel traffic is especially bad.  the inability to drive through the Holland Tunnel in a timely fashion is particularly a sore spot among New York/New Jersey residents.  (just drain and pave over the Hudson already.)

(tangentially, would a pneumatic or maglev system delivering small items between New Jersey and New York generally be profitable?  it seems realistically buildable, perhaps through the Holland Tunnel.  it probably would not be for burritos, though, because who wants a made-in-the-Armpit-of-America burrito?)

in between, compressed gas and powerful electromagnets speed the burritos through the cross-country burrito tunnel.  however, the amazing physics of a hypothetical straight-line tunnel through the earth is that, assuming no friction, objects make the 42 minute journey with absolutely no propulsion required!  just drop in one end, and it pops out the other end, powered entirely by gravity.

essentially, it is a pendulum, albeit not in a constant gravitational field.  like Galileo observing his pendulum always having the same period regardless of the maximum angle of its swing, the frictionless burrito amazingly takes 42 minutes regardless of the endpoints, whether relatively near each other like between Alameda and Weehawken (angular separation 37 degrees), or going straight through the center of the earth between antipodes (angular separation 180 degrees).  42 minutes is equal to the time of half a ground-level low-earth orbit: gravity-powered travel times to the antipode are equal whether going around the earth or going through.

when I read about the unnecessary external propulsion, I knew this had to be a work of fiction, despite it sounding factual (the Big Lie as fiction).

also, electromagnets would be ineffective on the non-ferromagnetic aluminum foil wrappers.  an iron capsule would work, but one would lose bandwidth sending the empty capsules back.

inspired Anna's Taqueria.  east coast burritos are more than good enough.